Monday, October 02, 2006

Republicans and Lobbyists and Democrats Oh My!

It is October now and I am finally getting settled. First a quick disclaimer: Pay no attention to the mindless ramblings of this post because I intentionally chose not to spend the time to make it coherent in any way. If you imagine that these are the types of things running through my head as I walk to work every morning, you would be right unfortunately.

The weather here has been beautiful for the last month which is weird because in Texas, fall only lasts for about 2 weeks. Washington, D.C. is an interesting place for a number of reasons. Its election season and an especially scandalous one at that! People have been asking me if I have noticed anything crazy going on around here because of all this. I can definitely see why someone would ask this but c'mon, its not like I can just go watch the scandal...
"Hey Darren what are you doing today?"
"Oh I don't know, I was thinking of going to watch the scandal. I heard (insert scandalous politician here) is going to check himself into an alcohol rehab center and then check out as soon as all this blows over... Should be exciting."

As October starts to come to a close, seasons change, the leaves change color and everyone braces for winter. Fall is a big deal here... People go apple picking, find the need to display various gourds for decoration and all things pumpkin related (beer, pie, cookies, whatever) are the rage. The rain and cold however, highlight other differences between this city (or the east rather) and CO or TX. I honestly have been surprised at the amount of men that I have seen wearing scarves... I believe you could get your ass kicked for wearing something like that out west. Also, in Boulder when it rains you don't see very many umbrellas at all, everyone has "rain gear." I don't think people in the big cities out here have ever heard of rain gear. They just wear what ever they normally wear and carry and umbrella... perfectly content to battle changing and gusty wind directions and getting soaked from the waist down. Then when I get to work and take off my rain pants and coat, they look at me weird! I just don't understand it I guess.

D.C. is a great town! There really is so much going on here. Government is everywhere you look, there is no avoiding it. I have realized that it takes A LOT of buildings to run this government in all of its bureaucratic absurdity. I just cant imagine the amount of forms (in triplicate mind you) that are filled out here on any given day. Quick side note: even to get a book in the Library of Congress, one has to submit a form in triplicate. Another odd thing that I have noticed about wildlife around all these buildings is that the squirrels all have this salt-and-pepper hair coloration that oddly enough matches many of our past president's... Coincidence? Of course! No conspiracy theorist could tie in the color of the squirrels into their hair brained ideas without sounding crazy right?

That last picture was for you dad.

I have been following two websites religiously these days... www.woot.com and www.steepandcheap.com are both websites that post 1 item at a time at a discount of %50 or more. Normally woot.com only has 1 item a day but every now and then they launch what is called a Woot Off where they only change item after the previous item sells out which can take anywhere from 10 seconds to 3 hours. People get so excited to see what the next item will be that it is not unheard of for some Wooters, as they are sometimes called, to buy items they don't need just to keep the Woot Off moving along. This special event usually last 2-3 days or so. Why am I telling you this? Because at some point over the course of the Woot Off a very very special item appears. Woot offers up to 3 "Random Craps" for $1 each + $5 shipping and they usually have around 1500 of these packages in stock before it sells out. The thing is though, that demand for all this random crap is so high that to get it, you have to submit your order within 10 seconds or the server crashes (and it always crashes as a result of thousands of people trying to make orders at the same time) and its all sold out by the time it comes back online. So again, why am I telling you this? Because I was lucky enough to successfully order a Bag O Crap! I am sure you are thinking "what could possibly be in this bag o crap that worth all the effort?" Well I'll tell you; people have gotten all kinds of, well, random crap. Crap like old PDAs, a sequined american flag vest, a wooden duck, random cheap robot toys from China with very badly translated instruction books, CD-Rs, etc... The only thing you can count on is that it will all come with some bag that is probably useless. So after this long winded description that I strategically placed in the middle of this post so that you would read it, I present to you the contents of my Bag O' Crap!!!

So the first picture is my Box o Crap (the bag is inside). If nothing else, the box will get used as a temporary trash can until it gets filled. The second picture shows:
1 Samsonite video/camera bag/backpack
50 Blank Cd's (which would be great if I didn't already have 75)
2 USB Drive locks (I can't think of any use for these)
2 bags of air (no, its not special air... just air)
1 temporary trash can
And 1 "Tricky Squirt Disappearing Knife" whatever that means. I chock the name up to a bad chinese translation
So thats it, the anticipation was much much more fun than the actual items, but hey thats the point. If anyone needs any of this crap just let me know!



Don't worry, this type of crap isn't the most exciting thing to happen to me since I've moved here. Some things from my last life have not changed. I still take to the streets (and bars) on weekends with friends and succeed in having a great time as well as inadvertently drinking to excess. Its nice to know that there are some things in life that you can count on to stay the same no matter where you are.

So I submitted my first expense report last week which means that I finally get all of my own money back that I had to spend on cab fares too and from the District Court and the FCC. As I look at the extra money (although I know its really not extra) I feel really really, well, corporate.

I feel like I could just go on and on and on, but we all have lives to that we need to back to and I will just have to write down everything else that goes on in mine in my next post! Thanks for reading and post a comment if you feel like it.
-Darren

P.S. Stay tuned for my next post entitled "Darren's Adventures in Public Transportation"